Burger Bulge Bracket can outperform Boutiques
2009-2012 has put large firms under a negative light after the London Whale, Citi’s near-collapse, Merrill gobbled up with hidden losses, the Libor scandal, etc. In the first quarter of ‘13 Five Napkin Burger has proved that chains can still put forth a distinctly quality burger. The proprietary blend of meat includes a complex flavor and perfect pairing with a soft white bun.
Five Napkin Burger ranking: A
Burgers: NYC style BBQ
In the research triangle, financial hubs of Texas or Savings & Loans accross the south, claiming you region has superious Bar-B-Que can easily be taken as fighting words. But what is financial captial of the world’s BBQ? The Cardinal in East Village serves up just about every style from Carolina hog to Texas brisket to Memphis ribs. Their burger however - course ground marbled chuck on simple bun - has no home team to claim. While the burger struggles to compare to those crafted by the steakhouses and gastropubs of the big apple, it reminds us that burgers are BBQ and could be branded as ‘NYC BBQ’.
The Cardinal Ranking: BB
Burger tracks historical market trend.
As owner of Smith & Wollenski steadily grew his steak venture in the late 70s, so to was the market creeping out of recession. As wall street soared in the 80s, the establishment became one of the highest grossing restaurants in the country. The laws of the price remind us constantly that what rises must also fall - and this 1/2 pound patty of average chuck save a trace amounts of fatty steak trimmings remind us that the bigger they are the harder they fall. While large, satisfying and grand, this legend struggles to live up to its name.
Smith & Wollenski rating: BB
Ukranian diner satellite turns the tide in Foreign Direct Investment.
While foreign banks have been embedding themselves deeply within the Ukranian market, this organization has expanded it’s local meat into the American burger patty. The meat rests between a standard sesame bun and is comprised of 30%Ukranian kielbasa, giving way to an entirely unique flavor and source of juiciness. A pioneer investment strategy among peers.
Veselka, Bowery rating: A
British burger, British Pound; both show recent signs of strength
A UK comfort food hub in the Upper East is dishing up it’s take on the Yanks’ most fundamental asset; hamburger. The market sentiment is that a British take on a burger is just as a controversial as the current LIBOR fixing scandal. The meat is a mix of dry-aged steak cuts and, mild spices, pan-seared instead of grilled. The combination yields a rather peculiar consistency comparable to that of a meatball –analysts presume that breadcrumbs and egg are integrated into the patty. The overall ‘JWF burger’ was officially stamped with the royal seal when served with a side of London style ‘chips’, stewed tomato and the Queen’s flag flying high atop the bun.
The debatable flavor and odd consistency of meat may be on par with Great Britain’s struggles with GDP, inflation and public unrest. However, the overall distinction of the burger is closely correlated with the recent strength in the Pound, making this a good choice for customers looking to experiment with a growing trend.
Jones Wood Foundry, UES, rating: BB
Emerging market burger finds niche
Mature markets are not always suited to deliver the right risk-return ratio that clients are looking for. One Ukrainian firm in East Vil has found a niche in the marketplace by swapping out the standard beef varieties of burger for a fattier tranche of lamb. The Eastern European security is paired with feta and pepper-relish to achieve the correct level of differentiation among western competitors. Go here if you’re looking for a product to add to your mix of western denominated assets with the flavor and juice that’s right on par.
Veselka of St. Marks’ rating: BBB
Burger ETF matches performance of benchmark fund
A tourist trap and happy hour hot spot is the last place you look for real burger performance or portfolio talent but this stone street firm packs their burger products with ground sirloin from La Frieda. The intention of the La Frieda strategy was to offer clients comparable performance to that of the steak-shops that employ La Frieda beef in their burger offerings – which set the benchmark in the market. Go here if you’re in the area and looking for a simpler, but equivalent, alternative to the edgy wall st steak-shops.
Stone Street Tavern, Financial Dist, rating: A
Subprime burger survives stress tests.
A small-fish restaurant in the big-pond neighborhood of west village exceeded analyst expectations with a massive juicy burger that packed a greasy flavor punch. The subprime chuck meat withstood a rigorous stress testing in consistency, complexity and satisfaction. While the broker and CEO of the organization were irresolute about the rating on the meat –chuck vs sirloin vs others –I was able to disclose the grade; 100% chuck. The return on assets of this type is greatly enhanced by bundling in sautéed shrooms.
Corner Café rating: BBB
Inside Information for Burger Arbitrage.
A small-size steak shop in Tribeca is packing the most unbelievable burger and has somehow remained under the radar. Among the Blue Chip burger names, the humble restaurant should be making markets but instead chooses not to carry out a grand IPO and flaunt its masterpiece. The asset’s patty is an alarmingly unique blend of short-rib, brisket and sirloin. To greatly mitigate your temp-default risk, I always recommend negotiating the temp of the asset’s meat with your broker for at least 60 seconds, insisting on a middle ground between R and MR. The most intriguing aspect to the burger, and perhaps why the net intrinsic value is so high, is that the 2in thick patty is outsourced to the star trader La Frieda BUT pillowy soft onion bun is brought in-house to their basement bakery.
Of the 40 or so “best burgers in NYC” that have been personally sampled, City Hall burger receives the rating reserved for the absolute best burger: AAA
This all American asset is actually a French & Danish derivative. The patty has diversified away all meat risk through a sirloin & brisket blend and extra hedge of smoked bacon. Standard sesame brioche butteriness at least lets you know it’s not wonderbread. The cow and pre-chicken give the security a stable domestic foundation but the game changes when the USA meat is sous-vide cooked (French for vacuum sealed and boiled at low temp for laser precision done-ness/ juiciness) and capped with Havarti (danish cow cheese). A star among its competition.
Saxon & Parole burger rating: AA
would you like fries with that?
